Today was horrible . As in , real horrible ): I shall rant , about everything thats on my mind now , everything thats been bugging me the whole day , everything thats affecting the team .

I want to help the team in every possible way ; cause theres always give and take in volleyball . I want to help the team achieve top 4 in zonals next year . I want to help the team do well , but I seriously don't know what you all want lahh . Im sorry for flaring up at you all today , esp . Genevieve , Im sorry alright , I just want you guys to understand ; this is a team sport , we cant do well without each other alright ? Why can't we do those ' punishments ' tgt , as a team ? Why do you guys have to be so independent ? Why can't you guys just spare a thought for the team ?

I really want the team to do well , but I dont see the morale there lahh . I know I shld have been more supportive as a captain , but seeing you guys so stressed up during the match , I seriously don't know what to do to help you guys lahh . Im sorry . I just want you people to know that , however tough the fight is , we'll go through this as a team alright ? What jiao lian said during the match is so true lahh ; with those kindda standard , who are we trying to beat next year ? Frankly speaking , we really performed horribly today alright , & we need to improve alot alot alot more to reach the standard of c girls lahh . Whatever it is , just jiayou alright , we've got a long road infront of us , and only 1 month left to complete it , can we just promise to go through this tgt ? If not for me , then do it for jiao lian :]

Yeaa , I shall be honest , cause I seriously don't think we're ready for competitions next year , maybe only half way there . We really need to hold on tgt as a team , and complete this journey tgt alright . I don't feel good seeing you guys like this , getting so worked up and sad over the team . Its something good also , a good time to really reflect , and actually see where you've done wrong , and we'll improve from there alright . We'll jiayou tgt , as a team uh ? XD

Don't wanna post already . Shall continue tomorrow , when Im feeling alot alot better after that stupiddd flu & fever , and after I've straightened out my thoughts . Just know that , I love you girls , & won't ever give up on you guys , even if jiao lian does alright . We'll go through this tgt , I promise :]